Awkward and Awesome Wednesday

Awkward:  

~purchasing prenatal vitamins at Fry's today.   No joke!  The doctor said my hair loss may be related to low iron (kind of figured that) so he recommended taking a prenatal vitamin every day.  I felt like I should be one of those radiant first-timer-expectant mothers, waltzing through the store and buying mama-pills - in reality I'm just a 19-year old unmarried-non-pregnant-yet-losing-hair-at-an-alarming-rate girl.  In need of higher iron levels.  Hence the prenatal vitamin.

~being told (again) that I look 16.  The ladies at the CPC (very wonderful ladies that they are) were shocked that I was 19.  I'm not surprised.  Kind of used to that reaction by now though.

~ getting a sucker at the doctor's office this morning after receiving a tetanus shot and having blood drawn.  I felt like a five-year-old.  Again, in reality it was for my blood sugar levels (I always pass out with needles), not because of good behavior.  Though I was a good girl.  :-)

 
 Awesome:

~ the fact that my trip to Summit is just three days away!  I'm beginning the packing process....did two loads of my own laundry today and am trying to figure out what to bring.  There's so much I'm going to need for two weeks...."packing light" is almost impossible for a girl! :-)

~ Kix cereal.  Love that stuff.   For breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, midnight snack, 2:00 am snack, you name it, it's good anytime.  (And yes I've done both the midnight and the 2:00 am snack before, many times.  It's just......me.  I'm always hungry.)

~ Cleaning and washing and scrubbing our kitchen/living room/family room last night for a few hours.  It was in shambles (I do mean shambles) and I had had a very stressful day (or week, or year, whatev).  Cleaning RELIEVES stress for me.  Seriously.  It was just what I needed!! Listening to Chip Ingram's messages on my ipod, scrubbing a million dishes by hand, and watching a large thunderstorm roll in made for an awesome evening last night for me.

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A Good Laugh

Little things make me laugh. 

It's just the way I am.   Hearing good news (even something small) or watching something funny can brighten my day. 

So, what did last week find me doing?  *Gulp*

Uh, watching scenes from the movie Bambi on youtube.  We ditched our broken VHS copy ages ago.  But something triggered my memory the other day and made me race inside and look up that part where Thumper gets his girlfriend - or rather, is found by her and completely twitterpated.

I could watch this a dozen times.  (I have.)  It just makes me chuckle.  And it sure brings back memories of watching this countless times when I was little.  :-)

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My Day

 Today found me very, very busy.  

5:45 am - wake up wishing I hadn't.  Getting to bed at 11 pm due to church night and waking up with chirping crickets is never a good idea.  To no avail - my body has its' own alarm clock so I was ready to go for the day.

6:30 - apply female warpaint after an invigorating shower. Do hair and put salve on recovering ingrown toenail.

7:15 - Eat Special K cereal with five year old brother, eating his beloved congee.   Tell him I'm headed to the Crisis Pregnancy Center for the morning and be flabbergasted when he chirps back, "Yeah, you help mamas not kill their babys, pow pow!"  (Insert scrunched up face and lion roar.)  WHERE did he get that??!!

  

 9:00 - arrive at the CPC.  Continue to be trained by the very dear ladies that work there.....enjoy coffee (and a donut that I shouldn't have had)....sort a big box of the most adorable baby girl clothes...learn how to do the pregnancy tests.....love being around the wonderful women there!  They are so sweet and godly.

3:00  - head over to our pastor's house to pickup David, who spent the day doing battle with other guys at our church via Axis and Allies.  There was war - and Pirates of the Caribbean music playing - and cookies - and at the end of it all, a brother with a 100* fever.  Yep.  We went home. :-)  He's been sleeping on his bed ever since.

4:00 - dry a million dishes that Mom washed by hand due to a broken dishwasher.  Isn't that lovely when you have eight dish-dirtiers?!:-)

5:00 - eat dinner (leftovers) and give in to Isaac's plea for a slice of green pepper.  That's our Isaac.....he would eat a raw onion if we'd let him!  He LOVES anything fresh and raw.  Potatoes, lettuce, carrots, celery, pepper (any color but orange is preferable)....

Now - typing up this blog post.  (By the way that photo above was taken on my phone....that's why it's poor quality. :-)  But it was on the way to church, and it was cute.  

Tonight, we seem to have ice cream on the schedule....perhaps an Andy Griffith?, some last-minute family time with Courtney before she leaves for Alabama tomorrow, a possible Skype session with a very dear friend, and probably going to sleep listening to whatever's on my ipod - Chip Ingram (love his messages), and a whole huge hodge-podge of worship music.

Another day.  A good day.  And tomorrow?  

More of the same.....including the female-warpaint bit and probably another hilarious conversation with one of my little brothers.  :-)  Ah, life.

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When Life Gets You Down

I hope I'm not alone in saying that life can really get me down sometimes.  Seriously.

And though you may not believe that, because after all, this girl Rachel with the cute blog and nice pictures and wonderful looking family looks perfect, right?  Sorry, but behind my thick concrete blog -wall, plastered with colorful pictures and updates on my "perfect" life, lies an imperfect girl with a boatload of issues - everything from bad hair days to yelling at my siblings to crying in my bed to feeling un-important to failing to be the sister I need to be.....and all those little things like ingrown toenails and pimples and stomach-aches.......and I could go on.

I have problems - and my life is not perfect.  Our family has quite a few issues going on right now (which I won't disclose on this blog) but needless to say, we're far from perfect.  Far. (Did I say far?)

I get discouraged.  I feel so many things - anxious, afraid, dismal, angry, frustrated, cranky, disheartened...even depressed sometimes.  I have hard days.  I have days where I fall down and believe the lies that Satan bombards me with.  I lose sight of the truth and think, what's the point of all this anyway?  I start thinking I'm alone....that maybe God doesn't care.  I look down and stare at my pain, blowing it way out of porpotion until it looks much bigger than my true Love.

And do you know what?  When I believe all that, I've succumbed to Satan.  I've allowed him to gain a foothold in my heart.  And things don't get better from there - they get worse.  Dark clouds only get darker.  I sink farther into despair.

It's when I'm at my lowest that I've learned to pull myself up by my spiritual bootstraps, and, no matter how bad I feel, I look UP.   When the torrents of depressing thoughts come rolling in, I literally have to just shut my mind to all that and focus on my Saviour.  And while reading verses that apply to my situation is sometimes helpful, I have found that the best way out of the pit is to just fix my heart on Jesus.  To remember Who He is to me - and who I am to Him.  No matter what's going on, I strive to block that out and think on how awesome He is, how I'll never be able to fathom how enormous His love is for me.  How crazy He is about me...even down to the little details.   I've told God over and over how much I love rainstorms and cloudy days - so when they come I just feel like He's smiling down on me. 

I feel like we, as second generation Christians, have totally forgotten how personal God is.  I forget that when God says He loves me, He really means He loves ME.  Not as just another human in the masses, like a herd of cattle, but individually, as His very own child.  When He promises that His strength is made perfect in my weakness, He's dead serious.  He really means it.  I am His, and He is mine.

So I sit and journal how great my Savior is.  I just read Scriptures that talk about God's incredible love for me, and His sovereignty in my life......I listen to heart-stirring worship songs.  I sit in His presence and just soak up what I lack.

And then?  Yes, the problems remain.  Yes, the pain is still there.  But it's diffused.  Making room for Him in my heart, instead of letting my fears reign, sheds a whole new light on the issues I have.  And I can go on - with Him.  He makes it easier somehow.  It's one of those un-explainable things.....but when life gets me down, the only remedy is for me to look up.  It works. 

Because He works. 

Just wanted to share that with you all.....I don't know what you're going through, but know that you are not alone.  We all have problems.  We're a broken people.  Messed up, twisted around, confused, you name it.  But that's why we need Him.  Whatever's going on with you, just know that God is so FOR you and loves you to death...literally.  Bask in that. Let Him in your life - perhaps more than you have before.  You need Him. :-)

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Courtney's Last Days

The countdown has begun.....two more days until Courtney leaves.  :-(  Yesterday, half the family was gone (recruiter's office / Costco run), so Courtney, David, and I decided to make one of our last afternoons a fun one.  I needed to go to Target anyway, so we hit that place first and then went on to the movies!

You'll notice that we WERE at Target....check out those authentic Target shopping carts. :-)  Target always has great clearance stuff, so I got a Maxi skirt (been looking for just the right one forever) and a really cute top.  Courtney had to grab some last minute things for her dorm.

Poor David endured the shopping half of it.....he got drug to Sally's Beauty Supply for a while, but he did manage to come out alive.  :-)  Then we headed to the theater just across the street to see Ice Age: Continental Drift.  I think he liked that part!  It was a cute movie, and I was surprised at the strong recurring theme of family being most important throughout the entire thing.  It also was slightly....um,....well, dumb - (I have this pet peeve with cartoons that go way over the top in the dramatic department)....but other than that it was clean, frought with humor (a little too much in my opinion, lol!), and sprinkled with some wholesome morals. 

Worth the $7?  Well, uh, probably not.  I don't know, maybe so. I'm a horribly cheap person...to a fault.   Mostly it was fun to just do something together as a "kid trio" - making the most of our last weekend together as a family.  Mom has some amazing meals planned for this weekend.....a grillout, hopefully some good family time in there.  Should be good, and I'll try to remember to take pictures.  :-)

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