Why boys?

I know there are lots of little boys in need, but most people adopt girls. Could you write about why your family chose a boy instead of a girl both times?

Good question. Really, when people anounce that they're adopting from China, everyone immediatly pictures a cute little girl with black hair, perfect almond eyes, porcelain skin, etc. (Interestingly enough, this describes our new brother perfectly!)

But adopting a boy ? Why? Are there even boys to adopt? Most people think that you can only get a girl from China, but this is simply not true.

China has a one child policy; each family is allowed only one child, or, in special cases, two. Since each family only gets one, most want a boy to carry on the family name. So when they have the "misfortune" of having a girl, they simply give it up for adoption and try again. That's the reason for the abundance of little girls available.

But...there's another side to the coin. Since most Chinese parents want a boy, they also want a perfect boy. They want a healthy little boy. So when they see that their son has an ugly cleft lip or something equally "horrific" like missing fingers, limbs, or any other special need, they almost ALWAYS give them up for adoption, as well. So really, there are a huge number of boys available for adoption.

Believe it or not, the ratio of boys to girls is something like 70% to 30%. Amazing, isn't it? There are actually way more boys up for adoption than girls. And the sad part of it is, that when families adopt from China, nearly everyone wants a healthy little girl. Not many want a girl with special needs - which are readily available. And even less want a little boy with special needs, which are even MORE readily available.

Boys who are given up for adoption have a bleak future ahead of them, because no one wants boys. And I personally think that half the problem is that most families in America have no idea about how many Chinese boys are in need of a home. Everyone thinks girls are the biggest need, but they have no idea.

So the reason we've adopted two boys in a row from China (even though I've always wanted a little sister), is because the boys are the ones that are the most needy. They are the most "un-adoptable". They're the ones that are going to grow up in the orphanage and live with the stigma of "unlucky" and "cursed" the rest of their lives. That's why we have chosen boys instead of girls.

Don't get me wrong; girls are terribly cute. In fact, we've looked at several and I can hardly contain how cute they are! But little girls will almost always get a home. Little boys will almost never get a home.

I am so glad we have been able to rescue two from a life of misery and poverty.