Romance and Relationships, Part 2

Saturday, August 13, 2011

One thing I just love about the whole concept of waiting for your future husband is that, even though you have absolutely no idea who he is yet (at least I don't....), you can actively honor him right now today.  This very moment, I can honor my future husband - I can be faithful to him right now.


By waiting. By saving all my "firsts" for him. (By the way, there are dozens of "firsts" that will be so special....but they would take too long to list!)

I can do for him what I pray he's doing for me ~ faithfully waiting.

Consider this exerpt from Josh Harris's book,  I Kissed Dating Goodbye:

"It was finally here....Anna's wedding day....this was the moment for which she had waited so long.  He gently took her hand, and they turned towards the altar. 

But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened.  A girl stood up in the middle of the congregation, walked quitely to the altar, and took David's other hand.  Another girl approached hand stood next to teh first, followed by another. Soon, a chain of six girls stood by him as he repated his vows to Anna. 

Anna felt her lip quiver as tears welled up in her eyes.  "Is this some kind of joke?" she whispered to David. 

"I'm...I'm sorry, Anna," he said, staring at the floor.
"Who are these girls, David? What is going on?" she gasped.
"They're girls from my past," he answered sadly.  "Anna, they don't mean anything to me now....but I've given part of my heart to each of them.
"I thought your heart was mine," she said.
"It is, it is," he pleaded. "Everything that's left is yours."

A tear rolled down Anna's cheek.  Then she woke up.

Everything that's left - which isn't much after having a long line of girlfriends prior to Anna.   It's a fact; whenever a girl gets romantically involved with a guy, fireworks happen.  Something happens inside you spend more time with him, you begin confiding in him, thinking about him, dreaming about him, you call him every night, and he calls tell him anything important that's been happening in your life, you go out for coffee together...

Basically, you treat him just as you would a husband (and we're not even talking about the physical stuff).  Emotionally, you get connected to him and suddenly he's like family - maybe even more than family.  You depend on him. 

And then, the inevitable "break up" happens.  You sense the distancing, and finally he just calls off the whole relationship.  And then you see him arm in arm with someone else.

Now that's painful.

And you know what this strongly resembles?  It's like pretend divorce - but no legal stuff involved. 

And guess what; at the end of the day, when the relationship is over and you're left with a terrible wound, he's taken a part of you that you will never get back.  Do this about 5 times, and when you finally get to the real guy, the authentic prince charming, you're a battered and broken mess.  What's more, the freshness of love just isn't there anymore.  So, your poor husband is left with, well, whatever's left of your heart.

This whole process is ugly, ugly, ugly and painful, painful, painful.  I for one don't want to even remotely get caught up in it. 

So back to the original question:  how can we honor our future husbands before we've even met them?  The most important is by waiting for him.  And this means not just avoiding the typical boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, but it also means guarding your heart.  This is perhaps the more difficult side of things.  Because it's unseen; your heart is where your thoughts, feelings, and emotions reside.  It's a secret place that no one but God sees. 

Proverbs 4:23 says, "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."

My heart is so precious; it's what I will give in entirety to my husband on my wedding day.  Pure, spotless, fresh, and new.   That's why it's so important to carefully guard it now, while we're waiting.  And believe me when I say I'm not "above" any of this; guarding my heart is a challenge and a constant struggle!  It includes your thought life, the way you view other young men, even the way you dress. 

 Everything starts in the heart.  Like it or not, we women are vulnerable.  We're more emotional.  We're the "touchy feely" ones.  So keeping and guarding our hearts is going to be a struggle, but one we must be vigilant about!  We need to be diligent about keeping our minds on pure things....we've got to give careful attention to what we let our minds dwell on.  Additionally, always consider any young man you meet to be someone else's future husband.  The guy that catches your eye at church?  He's promised!  Automatically assume that he is already married or soon to be.   When we view young men this way, it helps form boundaries, even if it's in our minds alone.

As for clothes, we really need to start considering why we're wearing what we're wearing.  Is it because it's more revealing?  Because you know he will see you wearing it? 

Friends, this whole issue of honoring your husband before you even meet him is such a deep one, and of such vital importance!  There is so much heartache involved in the typical dating relationship, there are so many girls getting hurt because of it.  But there is something much, much better out there.  There is an alternative to the cheap romance we see all around us!  True love - the kind that's authentic and real - IS possible.  I assure you that there ARE young men out there that are on this same path of faithfully waiting.  They are few and far between, but the number is steadily growing.

But remember that the next incredible, pure, awe-inspiring romance starts with you.  Just like at a baseball game, when the next batter is up, the whole croud watches with anticipation.  You're up - you're at the plate!

What will you do?

*Stay tuned for Part 3!*


Ashlin said...

What a great post Rachel. I can't wait for part 3.

Hannah said...

Thank you so much for this post! So many things that you said struck a chord and reminded me just how important it is to save everything for our future husbands! I have never given my heart to anyone, but I have seen so many young women who date, (or call dating courting to make it *look* Christian, when actually they are worlds apart. [I love how Paul Washer says there is no such thing as Christian dating-he's right].) wind up heartbroken, and farther away from a Christian foundation than when she started.
Your blog is such an encouragement to me and my family! Keep up the good work, fight the good fight of the faith! By the way, we are good friends of the R. family in California, and they have told us so many wonderful things about you all, that we can't wait to meet you when you, Lord willing, come out to visit them next spring!
Hannah B.

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"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not
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Proverbs 3:5-6

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